This year has seen a good interest in getting more people to code from a younger age. Mostly, existing developers are thrilled at the prospect of younger generations being introduced to coding, and having far better opportunities code-wise. This is a good thing.

There are those who are realistic, and there are those who are very over-ambitious – most see it from a sensible point of view. Some though, act as if their chosen area of expertise is actually everyone else’s.

The Good

People are volunteering their time to give programming lessons, after school, to high school pupils who want it. That, is absolutely excellent. Well done to anyone involved in that.

Others are pushing to get computer science to be taught during high school. Again, absolutely brilliant. This should also mean that eventually, universities are not watering down modules because so many students don’t even have the slightest clue about programming, eventually meaning that a 1st class degree in Computer Science can be recognised as more than “I know what lollipop notation is, and i’ve been introduced to PHP and Java”.

There are also projects such as Code Year that are doing a nice job of helping people to learn programming who want to learn.

Programming for programming’s sake

Some believe that forcing programming on to people as a compulsory module will make much of a difference. Teaching people to code at a young age should be for those who want to code, rather than forcing everyone to learn a skill they are not interested in. Making programming a core module won’t make the next generation an army of super-coders, much like teaching Design and Technology doesn’t make everyone carpenters. For those who have no interest in it but are forced to do it, their time is just wasted. People should still have choice.

Skilled subjects (such as Design and Technology) were very introductive in the first couple years of high school. When pupils had the choice of which subjects to pursue in the GCSE years, then they would follow the subject they were most interested in. This is the approach I believe should be taken with programming – that way, if someone potentially has an interest in programming, yet hasn’t had the spark to get into it, then there is the opportunity. Those who didn’t like the subject can pick one they prefer, as which currently happens with other tech subjects.

I can understand people having a passion for what they do, but they need to understand that not everyone shares the same passion. To us, it would be like having a bunch of textiles experts try to force everyone to learn how to knit.

The Mayor of New York announcing on Twitter his plans to learn to code was over the top, and even felt like a joke insult to Code Year. If he gets something out of it, then well done to him, but he has more important things to do, like running New York – I fail to see what how any sort of programming skill can help him.

The entire world doesn’t need to learn to code, much like the entire world doesn’t need to be able to knit or cut wood. Society is based around the idea that people excel at their chosen skills, and use those skills to help others who don’t have that skill.

Yes, but it teaches logic and a core understanding of computers…

Indeed it does. But if we cram programming onto people who aren’t interested, then it is the same problem that mathematics currently has. There is also the problem that, during school, asking why we were learning about trigonometry and algebra was met with “because we are told to teach it”. That meant that a lot of people did not pay enough attention and interest in it because they had no “valid” reason to. Programming likewise, won’t teach general life logic if the only depth learned is a few while()’s and if() statements.

If people are leaving school unable to properly understand logic, then forcing programming on them isn’t going to make a difference. The “average user” isn’t going to understand the basic general usage of a device just because he or she was forced to complete programming homework. High school is unlikely to go much further than basic HTML and Javascript, at best, given their resources.

If an “average user” is having problems with their computer, then they are unlikely to fire up a terminal and create a bash script to solve the problem – they would turn to the internet for the solution, using the basic computer skills hopefully taught in an improved IT module, if they haven’t managed it by simply using their devices normally. Again, you don’t need to learn to program just to be able to solve general computer problems.

Again, passion

If you need someone to tell you to code, then you aren’t passionate enough about it to really sit down and code into the very nitty-gritty bits. Having the knowledge to code does not necessarily make someone a good programmer. It is the passion for the subject that sets them above the average, and that applies to any skill. Education can only go so far, and certainly can’t teach you to be interested in something you don’t want to do.

In short, I am not against the idea of bringing programming to schools – I am against forcing it. Introduce it in the same way the other technology subjects are, and give those who wish to pursue it the opportunity to do so. Again, a big well done to anyone who is volunteering to teach after school, and the efforts of Code Year, and anyone I don’t yet know about.

Having overloaded my Spotify window with various playlists categorised by genre and other typical preferences, I decided to try a more chronological approach based on a few set of rules. From strictest downwards they are:

1. Tracks are added to a playlist based on when they have the most personal memory attachment.
2. Tracks are organised in the playlist in chronological order.
3. If I remember the song but it has no direct meaning, then it is added to the playlist spanning the year I first heard it, and placed in the playlist in the time I first heard it.

The playlists themselves are named by each year. Currently this dates from 1991 – 2012, and not all years are catered for yet. (I cannot remember any tracks from before 1991, or they certainly have no personal memory attachment.) Here is the current result:

It looks as if there is no rhyme or reason to the playlist itself. Certainly, tracks are not tied to a specific day, week or month – I can recall when in the year the memory happened, but not the exact date. That doesn’t matter, because playing the entire playlist in one go would bring back all the (good) memories in the order they happened. Any dates between the memories aren’t notable, or just don’t have a track attached to a memory.

You may be thinking that this brings back bad memories. Technically, it does, but I remember them in good ways – the good parts of the bad, or the conclusion to the bad memory. The bad memories themselves seem to have a way of sorting themselves out and in all, I have not been able to think of a previously bad situation and feel bad about it. Life has a habit of moving on.

Each playlist forms a window into the past, and going through a playlist is like watching things unfold in the order they happened. Some of the memories become vivid enough that I can smell the scents, feel the temperature, and imagine the brightness and mood of the area as if I was there. The order of the tracks keeps the mind focused on how things happened, in the order they happened, with little room to drift off the train of thought.

With all that said though, I don’t go into a trance – not even close, and I certainly am not trying to. I can choose to think about the details, or instead listen to them whilst working and the result is still a very meaningful (personal) playlist.

Some of the tracks are completely out of my typical taste in music. Some tracks are just plain strange, but again, they are tied to a memory. That is what gives the track a personal purpose. Interestingly, some tracks I did not like at the time, but they bring back a happy memory.

I avoid listening to those playlists in the company of others. Typically, someone will comment on how a song is terrible, or skip through it, and generally get on my nerves. Again, the tracks tied themselves to memories – ones I would rather were left tied to good memories, and not of a recent comment because the track meant nothing to someone else.

Another key point to consider is that this isn’t about the songs themselves – I am not listening to the lyrics of songs – strangely, I cannot actually hear the lyrics for the tune. Instead it is about the song attaching itself mentally to an event in the past, and forming a sequence of these tracks to bring back memories vividly.

You see, part of being humble is keeping an open mind. There are countless languages out there, each with a good community following. Discluding someone or shooting them down for using PHP instead of Ruby on Rails does not make them look the idiot, it makes YOU look an idiot. You didn’t get a backlash from the person you shot down because he is likely off to another group of developers who are willing to discuss and share experience, rather than insults.

A reputation comes from the work you HAVE done and can show for it, not the work you did five years ago and abandoned. Often you can tell the skill level of a developer by the way he talks to other people. The open-minded ones willing to openly share and accept constructive discussion are ones that seem confident in their ability, including the ability to listen to other developers on mutual footing. Each developer has worked on different projects and has seen various problems and solved them. Developers can easily learn from each other, and most certainly do, likely more than any other profession because we have, by far, so many tools open to us to do so.

That amazing project you coded might give you the thought that “no one else has done it, so it must have taken skill” – no one else has done it because they are focussed on other tasks or simply don’t have the interest in the particular problem you solved. Unless you ported CryEngine 3 to the iPad and got it running at 30 frames per second – that would be impressive. We now live in a time where developers are everywhere, and there are likely ten people getting the same bright idea as you. Look at the App Store – think of an idea, and search for it – most probably, there IS an app for that.

Don’t get me wrong though, I am not trying to tell you not to get out there and code solutions. Just, don’t be surprised when you find out that someone can do it faster or better – just be humble about it. Most developers are not talking to you to find out where you may trip up or how they are better than you – they are talking to you in the hope of a constructive conversation.

Good luck, stay humble, and share with the world what you come up with.

The delay? Time. Well, a less lame excuse would be re-arranging the way data is handled to incorporate save game slots, and to solve a previous big problem that I completely overlooked before. It’s no big deal though, but spending one or two hours whenever humanly possible on a problem that requires a good amount of focus for at least a few hours, and time seems to creep by too quickly.

Proof of Concept

Previously, the game was testing the concept – will this idea work at a decent speed? Will the objects be able to relate to each other sensibly? Will the data be recoverable easily? The idea was that, if an attribute of a game object was changed, then this would immediately be reflected to the data storage. In the ultra-extreme case of the iOS device ‘crashing’. or the app quitting (insanely, stupidly rare), then the user can get back in to the game with the current game progress awating them.

Of course, this meant that if you launched an attack and failed, then you have lost whichever units and structures you lost. Gone. Forever. No Menu -> load -> “not making that mistake again”. The nature of the game also means that if you do make a serious mistake, you could be at a very serious disadvantage throughout the rest of the game, to the point where it becomes stressful just trying to stay afloat. No, auto-saving would be a bad idea for this.

The data handling has therefore been re-arranged into a “grab from storage, populate the objects, play the game, dump the objects to storage on save” pattern. Predictable, and acceptable.

Previews – it is PLACEHOLDER ART

I have shown a select few people images from the game. This includes various menus, and units moving around the overview map. I stress first hand that the graphics are placeholder art because right now, the focus is on the game engine, NOT whether it looks like a design award candidate. The feedback from some ends up as “I wouldn’t use those graphics – why is that unit icon a ‘C’? Oh, and that image for starting the human campaign is probably NASA’s copyright.”

I know… I really shouldn’t have to define “placeholder”. Although, if the feedback is only on the art, then it means one (or more) of a few things:

• There is too little of the game engine to make a good enough comment (most likely)
• The game engine is perfect (not likely)
• People don’t care about the engine, they just want a good looking game (very possible)

Watching a bunch of icons migrate from country to country, and re-arrange themselves when they arrive at each country is probably more satisfying to me then it is to someone who can’t “see” the engine. I am sat there visualising the objects calling each other, and the method calls to handle each other. The “player” is watching graphics move across a screen. Not very exciting.

The game engine cannot be perfect. They are not going to know what does what, and what was involved. Even though it works, code could still be optimised.

People generally expect software (and games) to look brilliant. Spending your life on a great game could go downhill very fast if it looks like a dog designed it with the output of its backside. On the flip-side, you would be hard-pressed to find a throng of people who agree with that – there are some fantastic games that “look cheap” but keep people hooked. it is yet to be seen whether the iPad crowd lean more towards visually great but short gameplay, or good gameplay but “cheap” graphics as so far, games tend to be short, repetative, and cartoony.

Socially Acceptable Gameplay

Many games these days are infuriating. “Congratulations! You found 1/17th of a beehive! Share this with your friends and hopefully someone will send you more pieces!” Or the dreaded “This will take two weeks to build! Use a {in game currency representing real money} point to speed it up! No? I insist! Really no? You can buy more you know? No? Ok then, see you in two weeks.” I want a good honest game which, if you hand over the cash to obtain the game, then you get the full experience. No hidden extras, no need to pay to get the most out of it or wait awful amounts of time for something to happen.

The Progress

Here you go. The overview map, in a “debug” view. The previous point about PLACEHOLDER ART still stands. “Art” also includes the choice of fonts, their sizes, etcetera.

Europe's overview map. Green seem to be at an advantage until you realise that most their units are constructors.

I am quickly approaching the step where the battle map needs to be included. Once that step is done, the fun of developing the AI takes place. Not just how the opponent AI handles attacking, building and resource management, but the less-obvious forms of unit flocking, positioning and whatnot. You can imagine the satisfaction of watching a custom-build AI build up and attack you, no?

I have been keeping a development diary too. Once the game is done (or in a horrible outcome, cancelled), then there will be a post-mortem.

Gears

Gears will make your ride quicker, or easier.

Consider a car. You pull away in first gear, then continue switching through the gears sequentially until you are at the gear that is most suitable for the speed. The same applies to a bike. In fact, this should be more blatant considering you are the engine.

If you are finding it difficult to pedal due the the road’s incline, then you are in the wrong gear. Change down. Simple as. The excuse of “it’s better leg exercise in a higher gear” means nothing if you are forced to jump off and walk the bike.

I am very surprised at how often this occurs. Someone riding with me ends up far behind because they got off and walked. I then sit and wait (and recharge!) and they catch up. Sometimes, albeit rarely, they point out that I was in an “easy gear”. Yes, Of course. The gear most suitable for the incline and my ability.

When the other person is someone who cycles once a decade, then it is safe to assume they have very little knowledge of what they are doing. The gears to them seem to be an accessory, rather than a core feature that is absolutely paramount to cycling effectively. No matter how many times I tell them to change down a few gears, they ignore it, and keep a desperate attempt to pedal uphill in a gear designed for speed. Swapping bikes, changing the gear, then swapping back is annoyingly met with a pleasant surprise.

Sitting down and pedalling is easily possible. In fact, in the lowest gears, it is easier to sit down and pedal than to stand up, providing you are on a bike which is the correct size for you.

Cycling is a better exercise if you can actually cycle to the destination, rather than give up and walk. Over-burdoning your leg muscles just to have to walk (and make any future hills on the trip much harder) is not doing any favours – it becomes a walking trip with a bike for luggage.

“I’m not cycling there, there’s an uphill”

The hills aren’t the problem – your choice of gears are. Don’t be tempted to race up the hill either – just take it steady, and ensure you are actually breathing. The lower gears may be incredibly slow, but they are powerful. Hills are their terrain. Let them tackle that terrain.

Most uphills reward you with a downhill – that downhill means you are essentially resting, and will recover most of the effect exerted on the steady uphill. Again, take it calm and easy, and you will reach the top in no time.

“I inflated the tyres half way, so I have suspension”

The tyre pressures are there for a very good reason. They are meant to be a certain pressure (indicated on the side of the tyre), not half way. If you want suspension, you should have bought a bike with suspension. The tyres serve a very important purpose – it is your only interface with the ground, and if that goes wrong, it can be a serious accident. At the very least, having a tyre burst when you are miles from home is a very unfortunate situation indeed. Note that the tyre is weaker when it is not at the correct pressure too.

Pavements

I rode with a friend who simply would not cycle on the road. This forced me to have to ride slower because he had to dodge bins, curbs, posts, signs, dogs, people, other cyclists (heh) and cross over when there was a side road. This was not exactly rush hour with traffic building up either, and you can imagine how suddenly, a roundabout became a serious issue.

Motorists do have a reputation of being dangerous to cyclists, but it is not that bad. If you indicate your intention, then nine times out of ten someone will be courteous back to you. At the very least, no one wants their car damaged by hitting into anything. They also don’t want the increased insurance because they have previously hit  a cyclist. Heck, most people are civil enough not to want to seriously injure someone.

If you are nervous about traffic, then the best way is to practice looking around you. If you need to pull out from the side and occupy the lane (taking primary), then the worst thing you can do is keep focussed ahead and pretend you are unaware of traffic behind. As much as a good driver will assume you are unaware, not everyone is a good driver. Pay good attention to the traffic situation, and you will be confident in what your next move should be.

Thankfully, pedestrians seem to more and more voice their…disgruntlement when someone cycles in their way. Expect the police to stop you too.

Using the wrong size bike

Using a bike that is too small or too large for you is going to make the journey difficult. It is surprisingly harder to cycle on a bike which is too small for you. Usually people argue that BMX’s are supposed to be that size – yes, BMX, not Mountain Bike. BMX’s are meant for tricks, not for long journeys.

Again, I am not a pinnacle of fitness, yet I like cycling over the nearby mountains, one which includes the most insane uphill in Wales this side of Swansea’s Constitution Hill.

• World of Goo (originally a desktop game)
• Starfront (heavily inspired by Starcraft)
• Dungeon Hunter 2 (Solo RPG game)
• C&C Red Alert (cheap port of Red Alert 3)
• GTA 3 (port of the PC/PS2/kitchen sink version)

There are countless games available, but these stand out to me because there has been effort to make them games which have some form of depth – not just one small concept repeated throughout the game.

Of course though, there is a big difference between Rockstar (GTA 3) porting an already successful game to iOS, and an indie developer writing a game from scratch, with a tiny budget, and hardly any resources. Fair enough, I can’t be the one to jump in and say these developers need to spend longer, without experiencing it myself.

Games development is hard, but extremely rewarding, and makes other forms of development feel very…meh. There are times you get a surprising amount of work done – there are others which can have you agonising over stupid details to fix one “small” problem.

I decided to have a crack at creating a game again, this time with lessons learned over the last few years, and boy has progress been made:

A weeks work. Not a solid week, but an on and off week. So more like a few days work.

That is a small part of the game – significant, but small. What I mean is, it’s not “just” the game. It is an RTS game, and by that you are probably wondering how.

There was a game released on the PC back in the days of Windows 95. It was under-rated, in my opinion. If you played it, you should recognise the above, but the game I am on about was set only in the UK. I decided to involve Europe, and the USA. Getting hold of the country images was a pain… The colours will be less eye-bleeding too.

I am not going to promise anything though. It keeps the brain ticking, and is different enough from client work. When I do significant work on it, I’ll keep updating.

Yeah, of course, this is no revelation – but it does surprise me how many people do think the simulator cannot be run by it’s lonesome. To do this for Xcode 4.3:

1. Go to ~/Applications, and right-click Xcode. Select “Show Package Contents”.

2. Go through to Contents/Developer/Platforms/iPhoneSimulator.platform/Developer/Applications

3. Open “iOS Simulator.app” – in fact, go ahead and drag it to the dock if you so wish.

The simulator will sit there with not much to it – unless you have developed apps and previously run them on the simulator. Either way, you can change between the different devices with the usual application menus, and of course rotate the device.

The ability to Inspect Element would be a VERY welcome bonus to this. Fortunately, a solution does seem to be making headway thanks to iWebInspector - just, at time of writing, it supports Xcode 4.2 (which is no complaint seeing as Xcode 4.3 has only just come out, and has relocated the usual developer resources).

…and for the record,  I prefer it that way.

[I know that there are going to be full-time developers who read this and say "I do that too, it's not just freelancers" and depending on the company they are with, they could very well be right. With most companies though, you start at a specific time, and finish at a specific time. The company isn't going to set you homework, or demand you learn x or y. Again, with MOST developer companies, certainly not all.]

There is a difference between having flexibility and having freedom – you still have to do many hours of work – sometimes more, sometimes less. If you are late on a project, then it is not a manager above you who will deal with the client, it is you. As easy as it sounds to “just do 8 hours straight and it will be done”, you also have to take into account the fact that clients will phone you at unexpected times. Previous clients may contact you to want quick changes – ones which throw you briefly off course on your current project.

Aside from client work, you also have to keep your skills up to date – what are the new frameworks doing? What are other developers working with? This leads to quality time networking with other developers, even if they are essentially your competitors. I am not saying this (or any of these) is a bad stage, but it does add up to serious amounts of time.

Now let’s assume that you, being the dedicated developer, have your own projects too. You have just set aside maybe 10 hours to finish a client project which had an unexpected twist, and now you really want to get some of your own projects done – ones which are on top of the client work, and on top of tinkering around with new frameworks or concepts. You are likely combining this step with the previous step – developing your own projects and trying out some likely experimental ideas or at least concepts you haven’t done yet – the bonus being that the deadline is decided by you.

On top of that is expected client communication – where you set aside time to contact potential clients and discuss their project, iron out any problems, and negotiate. You could spent a good hour or more doing this with one potential client, and STILL not get the project.

If a freelancer fails someone, then it is at their peril, not a battle-hardened boss who has had decades of communication skills. You are not going to get a “guaranteed” salary and a slap on the back of the hand for letting a company down – if you slow down the work, you earn dramatically less. Simple as.

I am not complaining, or trying to paint a dark cloud over things. I am trying to explain that, as a freelancer, you are not going to have the freedom which most non-freelancers seem to assume.

Common Scenarios:

“You could have cleaned the house? – you were home all day!”

“Yes, I was home all day, in my office, working flat out for the last 8 hours, now I am about to go back in there and finish a few things off. Then I might work on my own project for a bit.”

“Coming to the gym? At 2pm? Seeing as you can just work later on instead…”

This is where it gets irritating – the “Seeing as you can just work later on instead” as if I would be rude to turn down the offer of dodging out for an hour. I cannot count on fingers how many times someone has added that to the end of a question, implying that I have no good excuse. Just because you are in a job which involves clocking in at set times, doesn’t mean I have it any better off. If I had a dentist or doctors appointment, or some other urgent request, then yes, but not necessarily recreational reasons which typically take hours, especially if you tack other ideas on to it.

“Can you do {insert almost pointless errand here}? It will only take you half hour…”

“No I can’t. You see, during the day, I tend to charge people for my time. Things like that throw me off course with whatever I am currently working on. Doing anything else when my mind is set on working, is a very frustrating task that will only get done half-assed.”

“I have the day off! Coming to do {something recreational}? Everyone else is in work.”

“Yeah, that ‘everyone else’ also includes me. You having a day off does not make it easy for me to skip a day’s work.”

“Coming on holiday for 2 weeks? You don’t have to ask for time off!!”

“No I don’t. But I also stand to lose a small fortune for that time off. I also need to warn clients that they will not likely be able to contact me during that time, unless we go on holiday somewhere with a reliable internet connection. Even then I bet you will moan the moment I have to stop in the hotel for a half a day. Remember, I don’t get a paid holiday entitlement either.”

(As a finisher to most of the above) “Yeah, but you can just work longer another day, or two.”

“Yes, let’s turn a typical 9-12 hour work day into a 16 hour day! I’m sure when my eyes are bleeding and my brain has slowed down from overload, then I will look back and smile that I got to sit in your house for 4 hours staring at an Xbox with my mind stuck on work…”

So, freelancers are scrooges? No…

I do think about spending time with the people above – just, there is a time and a place for it, and certainly not a week day afternoon. Evenings are much easier to spare, and so are weekends – the flexibility during the standard week day doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to avoid working during it. I can take arbitrary breaks, but not for long, and I still make up the time somewhere, as close as possible to the time taken off.

Even though it may be the “same thing” as working on a client’s project – working on my own projects feels a lot different. There is a certain extra freedom to it, because I decide what goes into them. In my mind, personal projects are more recreational, so they may be a nice evening task. Fact is, it has the side-effect of helping my skillset.

Freelancing is its own unique challenge. It can have some serious pain-inducing episodes where things seem to be going terribly unreasonably. You are going to get clients who will take advantage of you, and make any time spent on their project a serious pain. On the flip-side though, you are going to get mostly very pleasant clients where things go smoothly, and both parties look back and smile at how nicely things went. Getting paid to do the job you love, and seeing the client happy with your personal effort is a very rewarding end.

For that matter, I also do not have any gripes with the facility, staff, or the pricing. I enjoy every visit there, and get a lot out of it. They have done particlarly well with that club too, and the wet areas have been re-tiled and cleaned since a few years ago.

The sign-up

We arrive (there are two of us). Someone from memberships comes down with a nice smile, and polite personality. She goes through various points about the contract (very briefly), stating you can cancel anytime if you either:

• move 10 miles from the gym
• have a doctors note to show a serious medical condition
• you lose your job

Of course, those, according to the actual contract, are NOT permitted, and this is where the terrible part comes in.

You’d have thought that at this stage, actually seeing the contract would have been a normal, acceptable request. To that, she replied “I just said the terms” (And she repeats them). Unfortunately being with a friend who has now handed over his credit card, and things start to make me look like the overly fussy type. It’s called being cautious, and with good reason.

She came back with a few tiny forms asking for the credit card details and a few tickboxes, and of course the health and safety declarations. She then takes the cards to do a credit check and “get things enrolled”.

Finally, we are handed an electronic signature device, with a few “are these details correct?” tick boxes, But also, there is a big glaring checkbox stating “Do you agree to the terms and conditions?” So I  asked if I could actually SEE the terms and condtitions, to which she replied “as I said before, the terms are that you can cancel if {the terms I stated above}”. I pointed out that in fairness, that is not legally binding, but then she stated that “we will post you your contract within about 10 days”. I still insisted on having a physical copy of it there and then. Three hours later, it was finally printed out and given to me.

The Contract

The contract does NOT allow any of the cancellation points which she stated. So the friend, who signed a contract which he never saw (and a month later, did NOT recieve in the post) has signed up to a pack of lies, basically. The contract, in fairness, is pretty standard, and just covers rare events (like if the building has a defect and has to be closed, Fitness First cannot be held responsible and will not refund the wasted time).

As for the cancellations – of course, you cannot cancel until the minimum term is up. You’ll find that with most contracts. If you stop using your mobile phone, you cannot just cancel the contract. When I was a member with them a few years ago, cancelling was very straight forward – I just had to provide a signed note of my intention to cancel, and the next month it was done. My reason for that though, was because I was moving to another city, and no one phoned me to try and coax me into staying.

The Conclusion

My only complaint and point to all this though, is that there is no need to be so devious when it comes to the contract. You cannot expect people to “agree to terms and conditions” which have not been pointed out to them in writing. I felt incredibly uncomfortable throughout the entire sign-up process because the memberships staff member acted as if she was trying to hide something whenever I asked to see the contract. Heck, she wanted us to sit in the lounge area whilst she typed things into a computer by the reception desk (we soon joined her at the reception desk), and was gone for up to 15 minutes on occasions. Also, someone telling you the terms in a very brief sentence is NOT legally binding.

The fact my friend is yet to receive the contract is also a bit devious too. I have not received the copy through the post, but luckily demanded it there and then. Considering the electronic signature device saves the signature to the contract (BEFORE you receive it) is very bad. Essentially, his signature has been saved to a contract which he is completely unaware of.

I can understand the trouble Fitness First has had in the past with people cancelling the direct debit and ranting online en-masse about how the bailiffs are coming round. But Virgin Active’s process, even though far more expensive, was to show you the contract before anything else, and ask you to sign various individual parts of the contract to show you had read and understood it. THAT is how it should be done. From a freelancer’s experience, having fewer clients who understand the payment process and terms is better than loads of clients who do not understand it. The resulting upset on both sides just isn’t worth it. Just be up front and honest.

The message behind greetings cards is that they are supposed to be a welcome gesture of thought – a demonstration that the sender has thought of your current situation. Instead, they seem to be used as weapons of guilt against each other. Two common examples:

- Person A: “Person B didn’t send my a card this year, how dare he. No way am I giving him a card.”

- Person A: “I sent a card to person B, but he didn’t write one back for my birthday. He can forget it in future.”

The above two scenarios are often bolstered by a rant to someone else in the group of people who know each other, as if there is some blatant point-scoring attempt. Suddenly, because person B didn’t write a card to person A, the entire group has to sit through a rant of how disgusting person B is. Some of them also “join forces” and refuse to send person B a card. Suddenly, cards are not a gesture of good will, but a weapon of bad feeling. One which, pathetically, causes some people to go on and on about it for weeks.

Let’s look at things in perspective. A card is a thick piece of paper, with some seasonal image or humour, with a pre-written message inside. The person buying the card just writes who it is to, and who it is from. They pop it in an envelope and off it goes. The other person recieves the card, takes a 10 second glance and decides that that person is getting a card in return, and pops it on the mantle piece. Both people are essentially trading small change, and often do not even speak to each other. If they do meet for the occasion, then the entire point of the card seems wasted when they can simply wish a happy birthday in person – after all, isn’t the social interaction, and the time taken to visit the person more important than “simply popping a card in the post?”

One of the rants is that “all person B has to do is buy a bloody card and write his name!”. Again, what is so special about that? 

Now for the most disgusting situation. I saw a friend spend ages drawing her own, personally crafted card. She spent HOURS on it. Those of us with sense would realise immediately, that she was giving some serious thought to the person to dedicate so much time into it. The person who received it said “heh, she was too cheap to buy a card”. So, a £1.45 card is somehow worth more than a few hours of someones time? Also consider the fact that she was behind on her assignments – easily, even one hour of her time was an absolute premium. That situation left the most disgusting taste in my mouth.

Now take Christmas. Some people still go through the lengthy task of filling out 50 or so cards to people they know. The usual “to {someone}, from {me}. A few hours used on a cheap 100 pack of cards. Again, where is the special moment in that? Especially when it is backed up with “I still have to write out those damn cards. Suddenly it’s a chore – one people seem to do only to conform with tradition. One which is thankfully on its way out.

I am lucky enough to be in a circle of friends who also wouldn’t, for the life of them, consider buying a card. People who, if they receive one, would leave it laying around somewhere until the event was over, and then throw it away. I don’t care if I get “only” three cards for my birthday, because the only thing I remember about it is the gathering of people who turned up. The cards however, go back to be recycled.

The other day, I actually got rid of a stack of old cards from my 17th birthday. The sarcastic reaction of someone nearby was “oh, you’re sentimental’. This was from someone who I have never ever witnessed, look back through old cards – instead just keeping them there as if there is some air of guilt if they dare to get rid of them. Personally I don’t look back and care who gave me a card.

So, to summarise, don’t waste your time, at least at my expense. You will NOT receive a card from me, because my ONLY memory of them, thanks in part to decades of point scoring between other people, is that they are just a social “one-upmanship” tool. I refuse to have any part in them whatsoever. Of course, your milage may vary, but no thanks. Do something more worthwhile with the potentially £3 you could have spent, and instead, try phoning the person, and not just fob them off with a quick “from me” on thick paper.